A bit of a situation

Don´t really know where to start actually. Well, I guess this will be one of these all-over-the-place blogs, don´t say I didn´t warn you. 

I have been on chemo therapy for the good part of the last 2 years. Different types of chemo, one better tolerable than the other. I felt I was doing alright with the last chemo (Eribulin for those of you wondering). Not so many side effects and I could pretty much carry on doing what I liked to be doing. 

Until about 3 weeks ago. That´s when I had the last dose of Eribulin and shortly after I began to notice an irritating feeling in my stomach. Not so much pain but more a continuous press on my inner organs. That led to a lack of appetite, which led to me being nauseous, which led to me almost fainting in the super market. And in the meantime the irritating feeling had grown from irritating to straight up pain. After almost 3 nights with no sleep because of the inner war raging in my tummy I figured it was time to experience yet another first: go the the ER on a Sunday morning. 

We are sooo lucky to have the most fantastic support crew around us. A very good friend of ours drove me to the ER this Sunday and well, I have been in the hospital up til yesterday morning (2 nights and 2,5 days... felt much longer tho). Loads of tests and scans and of course also a Corona test. And then some more tests and answering questions that I had answered just 15 minutes ago with another doc already. 

The verdict was part "pffff... ok, that´s good" and part "well, I guess it´s no surprise but I was so much hoping that wouldn´t happen just yet". 

The first bit was that my intestines had gone on strike. Partly because of the chemo (one of the side effects) and maybe a bit of stress. Once the intestines have decided to stop working, it sort of goes down hill from there. Will spare you the details, but let me tell you that I am in awe of the person that invented laxatives. Strong laxatives. 

And then the other part. The part where I (and with me many more people) was hoping to be able to postpone that until at least another couple of years. 
Besides my unruly intestines, it showed on the latest scans that there are new cancer tumors in the abdomen. The liver tumors have diminished, it seems pretty quiet on the liver front now, but apparently the tumor cells got a bit over enthusiastic and have now expanded business into my abdomen. This brings with it that a fluid is produced that presses on my inner organs which causes a very unpleasant pressy feeling and pain. Not good. 

My first concern was: oooooh please let me still be able to partake in the research study with new and innovative treatment methods! I mean if that wouldn´t be the case... I don´t even wanna go there. But luckily (yes, there is ALWAYS a silver lining!) it is the case that I can still take part in the study! Not only take part but be the cause for the early kick off of the study! 

As I am kinda on the clock with getting treatment asap, and the study hasn´t officially started yet, there is a lot going on now with all the involved study people (decision makers) to get the ball rolling. Without the study, I would have to go and find a place myself (plus fund it myself) to get the immuno therapy I now need. 

So right now I am eagerly awaiting a phone call from my Norwegian oncologist to get me the practical details of how and where and when this whole new treatment adventure is going to start. In the meantime I am enjoying lots of ice and ice cold apple juice and a cheese sandwich now and then. Oh and plenty of morfine. I have now come over to the other side. I really do need painkillers to be able to manage what´s going on in my body now. Morfine and apple juice and just doing my stuff here at the house are keeping me sane. And are keeping my mind from wondering "what if..." 

Talk about what if: these past 3 days where a perfect dress rehearsal to see if we had all the practical details for Mik in place. A lot of thought had gone in to making sure Mik is well taken care of when I can´t be around and it seems that it worked fine. Mik has done an amazing job and is doing fine and I so love the support squad around us. 

I am a very lucky lady with so many loving and helpful friends around me!