Will I ever learn....

Well, spoiler alert: yes. I learned. Heaps and heaps. This past week has been a jam-packed week full of learning. Not that I had planned on learning, but it happened. In a big way. 

The week started off with me meeting up with my friends at the CancerCareCenter here in Lillehammer, to start my new treatment. With the summer holidays over, it is also back to the new normal for me. After 3 months of rest and relaxation, loads of cycling and fun and being out and about, I felt more than ready to tackle this new treatment. 

With the treatment only taking half the time of my previous chemo, I figured "how severe can the after effects be" and went on to tackle my to-do list. Contacted heaps of people about important stuff, doing lots of admin, making some long overdue necessary phone calls and continued to try and figure out to get everything sorted for well, you know, should anything ever happen to me. I mean, as a single parent I see that as my main priority: all should be well in order and nothing should be left to chance. 

I had an awesome day Monday, continued feeling great on Tuesday and did the most amazing mountain trip on Wednesday. And then it happened. I believe they call it crash and burn? Pff... well, I sure crashed. My body just totally said stop. Sure, the treatment had something to do with it, but you know: I strongly believe that with everything underway to be organized and taken care of now, it is finally getting to me. All the tension and stress and well, partly also anxiety from the past months just needed a way out. My shoulders and back were so tense you could almost see sparks coming from it, my head was exploding with the biggest of headaches I ever experienced and my stomach was trying to make its way out of my body. 

So I learned. I had to. I finally learned that I really do not need to do it all by myself. That it does not mean that I am weak when I ask people to help. I know, some of you might be rolling your eyes now as you have been saying that all along, but well, I guess with some things I am just kinda slow to catch on. Rest assured, I have learned in a big big way that I just can´t do this all on my own. I do need help. So... 

I made some more phone calls, spent a great deal of tissues whilst talking and talking and talking and now I feel I have a great team around me. A team of people that have dealt with these kind of situations before, a team of people where I don´t need to explain everything and they understand. Because you know, sometimes that does make it easier for me to open up and ask for help. My new friends from the local breastcancer society and the cancer society and the local cancer coordinator have already been a great resource with finding my way forward. And to just bounce off ideas. I mean, what I think might be great, might be totally wacky to the ear of a professional. 

So I feel I am back on track again. The headache is gone, my shoulders feel like they have some life in them again and my stomach has decided to stick with me. 

And this Saturday I am going back to the mountains. It is the day of the 5-mountaintop tour. Last year Marco and me did it together. This year I am going with a very dear friend. Might not be all 5 tops. We´ll see. 

But I am going to the top. Together with my crew.