Please don´t...

December is a month with a lot of special dates. Sinterklaas for the Dutchies amongst us, our wedding anniversary, Christmas, Marco´s birthday. Plus of course the dates from last year. When the whole hospital saga unfolded. 

We have a Christmas tree and the house is all decked out for Christmas. We have plenty of plans for Christmas. Plans that include other people and plans that include just the two of us. We will celebrate Marco´s birthday. We are going to celebrate the start of a great new year. We will celebrate love and life. 

What I would love to leave behind is all those pitying looks whilst asking me: "December must be a very difficult month for you, right?" Wouldn´t mind never hearing that question ever again.

I am a firm believer that everyone grieves and celebrates in a way that suits him or her. It suits me to celebrate life and to remember all the good things about my and our life with Marco. It is not my style to only sit in darkness and just reminisce about what once was. It is so much more me to be grateful for what we have had together and what we have now. As I do feel I have a lot to be grateful for. 

Don´t get me wrong. I do believe you all mean well, when asking whether December is a difficult month for me. Or when people just assume December is gonna be difficult for. But please, if you would want to do me a favour: don´t ask that particular question and just don´t assume. 

Take a moment to reminisce, have a nice glass of wine and feel what there is to feel without burdening me with it. 

Although it is mini steps, I am becoming better and better every day at taking in what life has to offer me. And I do have so much to be grateful for, so much that is good and wonderful in my life. 

We are getting ready for festive holidays and I sure hope you all will have a great holiday season with your loved one(s). Be safe!